Back to Square One?

So after the previous post I went out for a meeting (Fridays!), came back, logged back into twitter (By now my latest addiction would be quiet apparent to all) and this is what I saw right away:

You cannot pretend to be someone else no matter how hard you try.

 By Anaggh

and that defines what is the constant thought and fear running through my head like a ticker strip. Every single time I talk to you, every single day I wake up, I practically hold my breath all the time waiting for you to go back to your old, distant, aloof, uninterested, inattentive and detached self.

Waiting for the fall of this curtain of attention, affection, conversation, frequent calls which are all are all so new to me, coming from you, to reveal your original "You".

I am currently in that "I still don't believe its the same person phase". I don't mind this phase. Because this is so much better that accepting that you are a changed man, getting used to this attention and basking in its glory and then falling flat on my face, when one day I realise that all this was just a byproduct of guilt. That one day I will completely get over this pain and hurt and eventually you will realise that I have gone back to becoming the happy, bubbly self and reinstated my trust back on you fully, you will again start taking me for granted and decide that all the effort and "pretense" is not worth it.

So, coming back to that tweet, my fear really is, is this a changed you. Or is this you pretending to be someone else to make up for your mistakes. If so, you will not be able to put this up for too long, will you? no matter how hard you try. And the next time I will not be able to give you another chance, No matter how hard I do.