And Me?

I know what I don't want.
I also know that I really can get rid of what I don't want.
BUT
I can't. I can't because what I don't want, what is really all wrong, all bad for me is what works for too many others. And I can't hurt these others.
WHAT DO I DO?

On the other hand, I am seeing glimpses of what I'd like to have.
What is really exciting and super addictive right now.
BUT
I know it cannot ever be. Come what may.
It could never have been, even if everything was different.
I knew from day 1 that this glimpse would only hurt more than be good.
But I kept looking. And now I cant look away.
Always knowing, that it will disappear soon enough and I will be in a place worse than I am now.
Always knowing, that disappearing is also what is the better deal for the "glimpse".

AND ME?